There’s been better days. Diary entry: Thursday 20th July.

I've been dealing with a headache for around 4 days now. It seems to change in intensity throughout the day, going from what I'd call mild to intense and sometimes it's just a pressure headache – like my brain is expanding or someone has my head in a vice. I've talked about those headaches in past posts, I call them Red Queen headaches because the Red Queen has a massive head and that's what it feels like.

This past week has been a struggle with fatigue. I'm always tired but the last few days I've been asking myself "is 7pm really to early to go to bed?". My evenings have literally been spent clock watching. I mean, I really should just go to bed when I feel I need to. My body clock is already all over the place so I don't want to mess it up more. Either way I can't win, the end result will always be the same: tired.

I woke up today feeling generally okay, well, as best as I could but things went downhill pretty quickly. I'd say within in an hour or two of waking up I started flaring. This is what I dislike the most about this illness – it changes with no warning, you think "today feels like it's going to be alright" then the next thing you know, you're curled up in a ball on the sofa wondering where your 'alright' day went.

It started with a throbbing pain in my right knee, the throb was accompanied with a sharp pain. Then it quickly went to both elbows, the only pain I really get in my elbows is a sharp pain and the pain travels down my forearm like electric shocks. It's very typical of my knees and elbows to hurt, it's the joints my Lupus affects the most. Pain in my shoulders is less common, but today I had the worst pain in my right shoulder. It was a burning sensation mixed with a sharp pain, it started so suddenly and out of nowhere (like nearly everything this illness throws at you). It was the burning sensation that made it unbearable, fortunately the sensation didn't last long but the sharp pain decided to stay for the day. It's also sending a dull ache down my upper arm. So today, my full right arm has been affected – not so helpful when you're right handed!

I was sitting waiting to see if any of the pain would subside but nope. It wasn't letting up and I couldn't sit in pain any longer so today has been a codeine day, which I'm sure my headache will thank me for later. And by that I mean, I'll probably wake up with a blistering headache tomorrow, what's new? I'm due another dose in an hour and a half and it can't come quick enough. It's helping but not fully, it's just taking the edge off it all.

It still mind boggles me how any part of my body will start hurting, it's as quick as turning on a switch. Some parts of my body hurt briefly, like the soles of my feet but then it'll move to my legs or fingers. Although I'm writing about my joints, because those are the areas that have consistently hurt, nearly my whole body has been affected today. It just gets tiresome when there seems to be no break from pain.

I spent the day curled up on the sofa with
a blanket and my dogs in a codeine haze, having little cat naps and drinking tea…all whilst trying to get my head around the new season of Orphan Black…that's not a show you should watch whilst on codeine.

What a day! There's always tomorrow. As always, thank you for reading xo

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