Tuesday 7th February, 2017. 

Someone needs to give me a lesson in how to stay still whilst in flare. I did some basic jobs in the house today and made myself a lot worse. I guess sometimes I just want to feel like I’ve done something and helped out. It’s hard going from a full time job that’s very fast paced, one job after the other with barley time for a break to well…nothing, absolutely nothing. Everyone else in my house is out working and I feel like they should at least come home to a clean house. I know they wouldn’t bat an eyelid if I didn’t do it, but I just keep doing it. I like to help, that’s my problem. 

Yesterday was a terrible day, my family even said I look really unwell. It has to be a bad day when people can see the invisible illness. I had joint pain, a headache (I’ve actually had a headache for a few days now) and I was exhausted. I was at the point of exhaustion where I was asked if I had taken my strong painkillers that take me off to a different planet. I hadn’t taken any because they induce headaches and I already had that problem. I sprung awake at 1:30am with killer pains in my back/sides. It felt like I was being stabbed repeatedly, I couldn’t lay back down because it made it worse…that’s when I gave in and reached for my strong pain killers. They helped, they took the stabbing pain away but I was left with a throbbing pain. I managed to get back to sleep, probably the pain medication mixing with my exhaustion knocking me straight out. 

Today, isn’t better. I still have the pain in my sides, I keep getting the sharp pain on and off but the throbbing sensation is still there. I still have joint pain and I ache like I’ve just ran the London Marathon. I’m still very much exhausted too. My headache isn’t like my usual headaches, well it sort of is, I get an hour of sharp pain but it’s mostly like a fuzzy head or feels like my brain is swelling…I can’t describe it. In all honesty I feel worse than I did yesterday. 

But oh well, I’ll just go where the tide takes me and wait for it to pass. 


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